Why Networking Feels Fake: Understanding the Discomfort

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“Why Networking Feels Fake: Understanding the Discomfort”

Many individuals experience discomfort with networking because they perceive it as a series of superficial, transactional encounters. The notion of “collecting contacts” can feel insincere, as if the primary goal is to extract value rather than to connect meaningfully. This mindset often leads to reluctance or even skepticism toward networking activities, making it feel more like a performance than a genuine interaction.

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“A Value-Based Approach: Planting Trust”

Networking should not be about quick wins or self-promotion. Instead, it’s an opportunity to plant the seeds of trust and nurture genuine relationships. By shifting focus from “What can I get?” to “How can I contribute?” we remove the pressure to impress and open the door to authentic connections. A relationship-centric mindset encourages deeper, more enduring bonds based on mutual respect and shared growth.

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“Be Curious: The Foundation of Genuine Interest”

Approach every conversation with a sincere desire to learn about the other person. Ask thoughtful questions, listen actively, and seek to understand their challenges, goals, and perspectives. Curiosity demonstrates that you value their story, not just their status or success. This kind of attentiveness lays the groundwork for trust and rapport, making your networking efforts truly meaningful.

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“Offer Value: Give Before You Receive”

Value-based networking is rooted in generosity. Instead of focusing on your own needs, consider how you can help others—whether by sharing knowledge, making introductions, or providing support. Giving first not only builds credibility and trust but also fosters a reputation of being dependable and community-focused. Over time, this approach yields far more sustainable and fulfilling relationships.

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“Follow Up Without Expectation: Building Trust Over Time”

Maintain connections by checking in periodically, sharing relevant information, or simply expressing appreciation. Avoid the temptation to ask for favors immediately after reconnecting. Consistent, no-strings-attached follow-ups build trust and show that your interest in the relationship is genuine. Trust grows with time, and thoughtful engagement signals long-term commitment over short-term gain.

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